Here it is. The time I've been anticipating for about 4 years. If you've been around these pages for the past few months, you might've noticed me going on about how I leave for college soon and blah blah blah.
My whole life has been pretty constant, I guess as constant as anything can be in the constant state of change. I've lived in the same house, stayed in the same school district, driven the same roads, and seen the same people. There have been plenty of small changes, shifts, transitions -- but nothing like this. Before, I changed my room around, went from junior high to high school, nearly failed my driver's license test, and found new friends. The catch with all those changes was that something was different, but everything else was the same. But now, everything's new.
New room, new classes, new roads, new friends.
I want to say I look forward to the next stage of my life with an open heart and an open mind. I want to say I'm 100% excited for what lies ahead. I want to say I'm not afraid.
I want to curl up in bed and have my mom tell me everything will be okay.
I recently read something that told me it didn't matter what everyone else was doing, and to do things when I feel ready. One of those things included going to college. But do you really know when you're ready? Honestly, I don't feel prepared. But will I ever? I don't believe anyone's ever quite ready for a big change to happen. But it does, and you take it and run with it.
And really, what is being ready for something? Is it when you can let go of everything familiar and say, "I'm ready to step forward into the unknown."? To me, the lines between being ready and not are blurry. You can be ready and still be afraid. You can be afraid, but don't let that stop you.
I don't know how things are going to turn out. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with writing, as much as I want to. I don't know. But what I do know is this: change is scary. But change is necessary. Without change, life wouldn't be what it is. We would never have the opportunity to grow and expand. And lastly, if you think you're not ready for change, you probably are.